I waited 20 minutes on a bus home tonight. There were a number of people there when I arrived so I know they were waiting longer. Along came the bus and we all headed to get on. Nice orderly line, and only two people in front of me.
That's when it started. The seven-minute monalogue:
"oh, ummm...ah...I just need to get my purse...", she said and began rummaging around in her bag. She huffed, she puffed, she switched the bag from one arm to the other. The way she delved around inside of there, you'd have thought it was three-feet deep. "It's defintely in here...", she whispered. "Honest."
Indeed. I had the urge to sit down on the the first step of the bus and get comfy, I knew there's no way I was getting on anytime soon.
She poked about in the bag some more and then, finally, "Got it!" she yelled.
I watched as she opened the purse and her face fell. "Uh, just check I've got the change...." She then proceeded to count it out, in her purse, coin by coin. "10p, a 5p, a 20p, 50p...that's...uh...what's...umm, yeah, 85p....20p....another 50p...that's £1.55....umm, a 20p..another 20p...and a 50p...that's how much?...."
I think I groaned out loud at that point. I wanted to yell "Who taught you to count?! It's £2.45..get on with it".
She ran out of change, or rather her purse did. She hummed and started searching her pockets. "I've got another 5p somewhere...I..oh, it's...uh...ah!" She pulled the 5p out of her jeans and held it up to the driver. He wasn't impressed.
She blinked and looked around the bus. I was thinking I'd have to show her how to take the money from her purse and put it in the slot when she finally seemed to realised she still had to pay. She began pretty well: three coins in all at the one time. Then she seemed to tire. The rest followed, one after another after another.
That task accomplished, she turned back to the driver. He stared at her. She stared back. He stared some more. She shot a glance at the slot into which she'd dropped the coins, and then glared back at the driver. He blinked and kept staring. She put one hand on her hip and stared back at him.
By this stage in the staring contest, I was seriously having a hard time stopping myself from laughing out loud. Must be hard to glare at someone while folk are sniggering behind you in the queue.
I think I actually heard the *click*, or in her case *clunk*, when the little lightbulb above her head finally switched on. "oh..heh..ugh...£2.50 return please", she asked.
Driver pressed the button and out popped the little paper ticket. She yanked at it, getting it after the second attempt, and went to sit down.
"This is it," I thought. "I'm finally gonna get a seat."
The second woman stepped up, opened her bag and said "oooh...I just need to get my purse...."
*groan*
I looked at the driver. He looked at me. I flashed my travel card and he bopped his head. I was on! I slipped past purse-hunter number two and grabbed seat.
Now I could watch the whole show in comfort.
She hunted, she poked, she grabbed. I could hear rustling and rattling from inside that bag..i don't think purses rustle, do they? Anyway, she found it within a few minutes - after lots of "oh, oh..i think i got it..i got..oh no, no...that's not it..."
I was looking at the people in line behind her. They didn't seem to find it as amusing as I did. They groaned and shuffled. One guy pushed past her, while she hunted, stuffed his money in the slot growling "85p". Grabbed his ticket and stormed up to the back of the bus.
While the more well-mannered of the queue politely waited, the guy up the back of the bus began muttering loudly about how it had to be just his luck that it was "stupid day" on the buses.
Heh. Was worth it just to see that staring match, I'd say.
What I do wonder about is this:
You're standing in line at a bus stop. You know you're getting on that bus when it arrives. You know you have to pay. You've been standing there for 20 minutes.
Why don't you just get the money out while you're waiting?!?!
One other thing...since I use my travelcard, I have no clue about bus fares, but mum claims the adult return is only £2.20. So..why did she count out £2.50 and why did the driver sit there and let her?
